You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
