we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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