Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize