I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize