He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
