You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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