Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
