one might say we're banned from that church
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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