Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
