Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
