i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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