I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
