I'll bet she douches with gravy.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Can I color on your dick again?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize