Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
