3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He felt like a one man threesome
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
