I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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