every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize