apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
