it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
