Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
love makes seman taste better
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Also, beer. Big fan.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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