just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
