Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
