ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
