i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
