Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
