um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
