I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
