for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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