he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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