his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
