Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
