Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
