Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
