This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize