i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
