pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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