So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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