he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
