Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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