lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
