just tell him i said nine months
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
