So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
