i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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