do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she told me i tasted like america
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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