The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
