i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
