Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
