I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
