So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
