I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
