I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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