what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
honey bunches of taint.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
