i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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