Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
did you just send me my own nude
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
