Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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