Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
farters have to be the big spoon...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
