I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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