i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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