your parents love me but you hate me
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
and you said cock pushups were impossible
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
