I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
