the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
